Madness and Women
Stories
Poetry
nelson
he arrived at another place and interviewed with the admitting psychiatrist.
after their meeting she sent him to a yoga class.
the instructor demonstrated a new breathing technique to "help everyone stay calm."
she sat with her legs crossed and inhaled a deep breath and held it for seven seconds.
she exhaled with a word that sounded like she was saying shpahhhh.
everyone in the class tried it and became annoyed and impatient.
one person liked doing it and his name was nelson.
technically nelson didn’t count because he liked repeating words or phrases he found interesting.
once nelson got a hold of shpahhhh there was no stopping him.
______
he attended his meditation class after the yoga class.
at first no one could hear him chanting shpahhhh while they meditated in the dark.
he became progressively louder and louder until he strained his vocal cords and ran out of air.
the therapist turned the lights on and dismissed the class.
______
the next day the therapist rescheduled another meditation session without inviting nelson.
everything was calm until nelson flung the door open and started singing a shpahhhh song he claimed to have written in five minutes.
everyone liked the song except the therapist.
he dismissed the group and complained to the director of enrichment activities and demanded something be done about nelson.
the director transferred him into the water polo class.
nelson constantly screamed shpahhhh under the water.
he liked saying it under the water the best.
______
the next day he disappeared and no one ever saw or heard from nelson again.
everyone huddled in circles and whispered who would be next.
the director of the hospital sent out a memo advising all the patients to remain calm.